Ending Our White Inaction: A Path to Antiracist Solidarity
I see you.
You’re a white person who cares deeply about your BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of color) friends and colleagues…
You want to do something to help but feel incapacitated by the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing...
You desperately want to see the end of the violent racism our systems are built on, but don’t have the first idea how to begin to undo it…
You’re at a loss for where to start and feel mired in your emotional reactions to the pain and violence you’re witnessing daily…
You’re stuck. And you’re certainly not the only one. Most days, I am right there with you.
There is no easy road to undoing the racial inequity we’ve built into our systems – inequity that has roots deep and wide – but we must get ourselves unstuck, so that we can show up in meaningful solidarity with our friends, colleagues, and family members of color. My hope is that this post will give you an entry point to your own path to being in solidarity with people of color. It’s imperative that as white people we act now.
First, a couple of cautions.
Before you dive in head-first, here are a few words of caution about actions that can cause harm to our friends and colleagues of color – always, but especially right now.
White Tears & The Burden of Emotional Caretaking
I’m assuming that the violent murders of black people and the violence that protestors are experiencing make you incredibly sad. Tears, grief, and even anger are perfectly natural reactions to the inhumane and harmful actions we are bearing witness to. Here are some problems with our tears though:
We put BIPOC (especially women of color) in a position to take care of our feelings. Women are particularly socialized to caretake. It’s very likely that if you begin to cry, your colleague or friend of color will feel the need to comfort you, and that’s the very last thing they need on their plate right now.
BIPOC have been living this reality for their whole lives. Many of us are just becoming aware of how dire the situation is. Black communities in particular, and communities of color in general, have been trying to tell us how bad things are for a very long time. I can only imagine how frustrating it would feel that many white folks are just coming to the table now.
It might seem as though we’re putting our sadness on par with their trauma, and whether or not we are, the impact is what matters here.
What should you do then, when you feel the need to cry while having a conversation with a person of color? Apologize, excuse yourself, and find a white person to process with.
Feelings of Helplessness
When we say “I feel so helpless” we are airing an emotion that’s tied to our overwhelm. While that feeling may be valid, the truth is that as white people we have a ton of institutional power, whether or not we hold positional authority in our jobs or otherwise. We are literally not helpless. This powerlessness may be tied to the enormity of ending systemic racism. When you’re feeling this powerlessness, try making a list of all the ways you can effect change (see some ideas below).
What can white people do then, to show up for BIPOC?
Pippi Kessler, in her article “How to Plan a White Caucus Agenda,” (if you don’t know what a white caucus is, don’t get stuck on that here – we’ll discuss that in a future post), points to the three areas that white folks need to focus on. We’re going to use those three areas here as a roadmap for getting unstuck. This is not a linear process – in other words, you don’t have to wait to have processed your feelings in order to take action and jump into some serious relearning. But all three are critical in our antiracist work.
Process Our Feelings
Though it’s important to work through our feelings, of equal importance is understanding that our end goal is not to make ourselves feel better, but to clear the way for us to re-center around BIPOC needs.
There is a toll to witnessing the violence that has been perpetrated against the Black community. Make no mistake – it is in no way equal to the trauma that those most impacted are experiencing. That said, trying to will away our feelings about the violence is likely to make us far less effective advocates for racial justice. We’re also likely to be ineffective advocates if we’re doing the opposite - sitting in our emotions for days on end. “Metabolizing” your emotions is the goal here, as Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, of the Trauma Stewardship Institute will tell you. How exactly is this done? Van Dernoot Lipsky recommends a “daily practice,” whether that involves exercise, meditation, convening with nature, or starting a gratitude practice. Writing about your feelings or processing with a fellow white person can also be effective. Find other ways to keep yourself well and move through your feelings in the Trauma Stewardship’s Tiny Survival Guide. Don’t forget to operationalize your daily practice so it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle - put it in your calendar, find an accountability buddy, or develop a morning routine.
Unlearn Racist Things & Learn Antiracist Things
There are so very many powerful resources that can help us to fully understand the impacts of racism and call into question the racist things we’ve spent our lives learning. Check out this great reading list broken into “starter kit” and “intermediate” (from Victoria Alexander via Twitter), or this comprehensive list of anti-racism resources that includes articles, podcasts, videos, and more. Support a local BIPOC-owned bookstore with your purchase, like Estelita’s Library in Beacon Hill, or one of these Black-owned bookstores.
Note the difference between checking in with the BIPOC folks in your life (and perhaps offering support and tangible help like babysitting or meals) and asking them to be responsible for your learning by sharing their experiences with you. It’s important that we own our own learning process.
Take Action
Learning and processing are important steps toward being antiracist, but they mean nothing without action. Ensure that the action you take is led and supported by the Black community. You might rightly point out that the Black community is not a monolith and that Black individuals might have differing opinions about actions. Deal with it. Use your brain and ask questions. Be real with yourself about why you’d rather line up behind a Black person who’s not asking you to do something you find uncomfortable or difficult than one who is. Here are just a few of the many, many ways in which you can use your white privilege to dismantle racism.
Interrupt racism where you see it. Not in a way that makes you the beyond-reproach antiracist warrior – but in a genuine way that invites both accountability and further conversation.
Move money to move power. Donate to Black-led organizing - Black Lives Matter is a great place to start and Social Justice Fund Northwest funds lots of Black-led organizing through their giving projects (find lots of others by doing your own research). Intentionalist has a list of Black-owned businesses where you can spend your money.
Show up and put your body on the line. Not everyone can do that right now, but be real with yourself about whether that’s you. Tens of thousands of people are hitting the streets, keeping the demands of these protests alive. Be one of them if you can.
White folks, let’s help each other get un-stuck.
Black lives depend on it.